Finding Sukha in Struggles

Balance has always been a challenge in any capacity.
Balancing self-love with self-awareness, ambition with patience, spirituality with physicality, and, above all, intent with ease.

Last week, I pulled up a yoga how-to video (the economy has not been kind; public classes are still out of budget) and the theme of the class was sukha, or ease. This is one of fundamentals of yoga, but unless you've been to a public class or had some form of personal instruction, you wouldn't know it. At least, I didn't.

 Yoga is a paradox in that it combines some of the most objectively difficult positions for the body to fit into while demanding a sense of ease. In twists, teachers always say not to crank. Instead, twist from the naval. In downward dog, teachers caution you not to hyper-extend your arms or strain your hamstrings. Instead, press into the the thumb and index finger and bend your knees slightly.
In other words, yoga isn't meant to be something we do. It's meant to be something we inhabit. Always follow your breath. Always keep breathing. Always try to smile.

Personally, this is the hardest part of yoga for me.
 I can twist and push and pull myself into any pretzel position, and ignore the pain as long as I feel I'm doing it right or that it'll be worth it. It's the Catholic in me. Tell me there's a Paradise at the end and I'll grit my teeth through anything.

As a westerner, I never expect transformation to be liberating. Pain is more familiar. Pushing myself sounds more natural, because it's what I've heard all my life.

But yoga does not care about my childhood. Yoga wants to build me from the ground up. Yoga wants to strengthen me from the inside out. She wants me to be me, but stronger and less afraid. Yoga holds out a hand every time I fall down. Yoga says keep going when all I want to do is quit and sit back down on my 21st century uncoordinated ass. She just shakes her head when I swear my way through warrior one and congratulates me when I finally manage to stabilize my legs and find my breath.

She's a lot like life. We're not perfect. The best we can do is pay attention, learn what we need to do better, and practice, practice, practice. We will fail along the way, but we gain nothing by hanging on to frustration. So, this week, as I do my work, talk to my friends, collaborate with my coworkers, and write, I'm going to try to be a little softer, a little more forgiving of myself,  and do my best to stay in my good place.

For those of you who are curious, here is the video that helped inspire this post:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioO8K653kMA

Sukha Watercolor Painting by EmMoon77 on Etsy

(https://www.etsy.com/listing/191841630/sukha-8x10-watercolor-painting-print)

Peace, friends.